The Meaning of Words - Part 1

For most of my life, I have taken others’ words at face value. As I get older (and hopefully wiser), I often find that what someone is not trying to communicate is much more revealing than the message they believe, or intend to be conveying.

The straw that broke that proverbial camel’s back came from a wealthy, successful man many years ago. My wife and I were leaving an event when we paused at the doorway to visit with three couples that we knew. The conversation was fairly innocuous and polite, when out of nowhere, and completely off topic, one of the men began bragging about his wealth and success.

After listening to this gentleman’s unprompted bragging for a while, my wife and I pardoned ourselves from the conversation, explaining that we had a long drive in front of us.  As we walked to the car, I asked my wife, “What the hell was that about?” My wife dismissed him as an arrogant jerk.

I continued to ponder why, when it is evident that someone is a success, be it financially or in some other capacity, they would then need to brag about it. Ultimately I have concluded that insecurity plays a huge role in this kind of self-expression. For most of my life, I had thought insecurity was something that teenagers or young people felt, and it would ultimately fade away with age and maturity. I have since concluded that the opposite seems to be true–that, for many people, insecurity only grows over time and manifests in different ways.

Stop and consider the situation I described for a moment. This person was already widely known and recognized as a successful businessman. Yet, there was some force deep within him driving him to interject his financial superiority into a conversation that was in no way related to finances.

I told my wife that, while this man was seemingly arrogant, he was really communicating that despite his financial success, he is insecure. He wanted us to know about his success, and presumably to give him some validation. After considering it even further, rather than being mad, insulted, or feeling some other negative emotion about his attitude, I realized that I feel sorry for him. Despite all his hard work and focus, he cannot find peace within himself, and that is a sad situation.

This gentleman thought he was communicating strength, power, confidence, and success, when in fact he was communicating the opposite.  I encourage you to think about this, next time someone is bragging about themselves and/or their accomplishments, it will give you a whole new point of reference as this person and the conversation.