Is It Real, or Is It an Act?

Early in my career, I determined that if I was going to be a successful attorney, it would be essential for me to truly immerse myself in litigation. I called a friend of mine, a third-generation attorney who knew everyone in the local legal profession, to ask about firms he would recommend. In visiting, he told me about a firm at which he said one could learn more in one year than most attorneys learn in a lifetime. The problem was that the head of the firm was a full-fledged S.O.B. My friend went on to say, “I don’t just mean he is a S.O.B., but perhaps the worst S.O.B. you will ever meet in your lifetime.” I think he stopped just short of saying the man was the Devil himself.

I made a few other calls to attorneys I knew to find out more about this firm, and in particular, its head, and without hesitation or exception, they all confirmed he was probably not only the most intimidating litigator but also probably the worst human being they had ever known. Although I couldn’t confirm it, I was told by several attorneys that he was known for throwing hot coffee on others when his words weren’t enough to get the job done. So, for better or worse, I applied for a job and was hired. I realized it wasn’t difficult to get a job at this firm because the turnover rate was outrageous as a result of this guy’s ill temper.

It didn’t take long to learn that the only good day at the office was a day when he was gone. On the best days, he would stand outside the door of his corner office and repeatedly slam his door as hard as he could over and over again, sometimes up to 20 times. I won’t even go into detail about the worst days.  My way of trying to survive, as well as that of most others in the firm, was to try to avoid being seen or heard by him. Growing up in the agricultural community, I had dealings with some tough and difficult people. I thought I had seen the toughest of the tough, but I have to admit, I had never seen anything like him.

Late one night, I had an encounter with this guy that challenged what I as well as others had previously concluded about him. I was the only one working at such a late hour when I heard the front door open and saw him walk past my office door. I thought to myself, “It's bad enough having to work late. Hopefully, I won’t have any dealings with him.” As I continued to work, I listened carefully to where he was and what he may be doing, hoping to avoid him.

As I finished work, I was relieved that I had indeed managed to avoid him. Just as I started down the hallway to leave, however, he came out of his office. What happened next was the opposite of anything I could have predicted. Up to that point, all my interactions with him had involved him ranting, raving, and bullying everyone around the office, as though he were the biggest badass to ever walk the face of the earth. However the man I encountered that night couldn’t look me in the eye. He cowered as we met, and he tried his best to melt into the hallway. In fact, not only did he not look like the tough man he had thus far portrayed himself to be, but he actually looked petrified.

It took me a while to reconcile in my mind what I saw that night. Ultimately, I realized that his nasty behavior was nothing more than an act. A cover-up. A facade to hide his terrible insecurities and fear. I realized that he had played this act so long, that he had fooled most people, most likely even including himself. However catching him off guard that night, he dropped the façade for a moment and I could see the real him, and what he wanted no one else to see.

In reflecting back I realize we cannot take something at face value. Instead, we have to decipher each situation to decide whether it’s real or an act and whether there is more to a person than meets the eye. Consider an iceberg and its deceiving appearance; there’s always much more substance hidden in the depths.